


California Never Felt Like Home

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 6A canon divergent, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Driving, Leaving Home, M/M, Magical Stiles Stilinski, Sterek Week 2018, Sterekweek2018, Stiles Stilinski Leaves Beacon Hills, Stiles Stilinski Misses Derek Hale, stereklyrics4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-26
Updated: 2018-10-26
Packaged: 2019-08-08 08:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16425593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Stiles tried not to call Derek, he really did, he just... didn't succeed for very longThere's only so much of Beacon Hills that one person can take, and Stiles has hit his limit





	California Never Felt Like Home

**Author's Note:**

> So, confession time, I had planned for this theme to be a giant, long, "Strange Magic" AU, but I just didn't have time, so this is what I ended up with instead, the second time I've used Halsey's "Drive" in a fic for this theme actually
> 
> Other lyrics and quotes:
> 
> -Beginning quote is from Yu-Gi-Oh  
> -Requiem For Blue Jeans by Bastille  
> -Cinnamon by Lana Del Rey  
> -Little Red Riding Hood by Bowling For Soup  
> -Drive by Halsey

_"Don't worry, as long as we stay connected, you and I can face anything,"_

_"Maybe, but what if I fail again? How do I know that I won't lose you?"_

_"I believe in you-"_

He quickly hit pause on the DVD player, his stomach churning as he leaned back in his desk chair, foot pressed hard against the desk

"God, how did I never notice how freaking gay this anime is?" he grumbled to himself, flicking his pencil against his leg over and over again before leaning over to turn some music on via his laptop, just .... hitting replay on the first YouTube tab he had open

He couldn't concentrate

He couldn't concentrate....

There were college applications staring at him, and the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he couldn't...

He couldn't _concentrate_ , he just kept thinking of the same thing over and over again

The same _person_ over and over again...

_Blue jeans, white shirt_  
Walked into the room you know I made your eyes burn  
I was like James Dean, for sure  
I'm so fresh to death and sick as ca-ca-cancer 

Really? This was the song he chose?

He felt ill, his stomach was hurting and his body was tense, he wanted to reach for the touchpad to turn the music off, he couldn't stand to hear it anymore, he couldn't stand to keep thinking about _him_ anymore

He hovered over the touchpad, and just... kept hovering

He kept hovering

He.. kept hovering...

_I will love you till the end of time_  
I would wait a million years  
Promise you'll remember that you're mine  
Baby can't you see through the tears? 

He couldn't do it

He couldn't turn it off

And he couldn't stop thinking about him

 

~+~

 

_Sometimes there's just nothing to do but lay in the dark and listen to Lana Del Rey_

_That's it_

_That's all it is_

_Sometimes....._

__**No one even knows how hard life was**  
I don't even think about it now because  
I've finally found you  
Oh sing it to me 

_His foot was tapping, his fingers rapping against his legs like drummer's sticks as he counted down to the next beat and began to sing along with it_

_"Now my life is sweet like cinnamon, like a freaking dream I'm living in, baby love me 'cause I'm playing on the radio, how do you like me now? Pick me up and take me like a vitamin, 'cause my body's sweet like sugar venom oh yeah, baby love me-"_

_**DING! DING! DING!** _

_Ahhh hell... freaking phone..._

_Grumbling to himself, he turned down the music and forced himself to sit up, picking up his phone and glaring at the "UNKNOWN" staring back at him_

_"What?" he bit in annoyance_

_**"Wow, what a response, and to think that I almost didn't call,"** was the sarcastic response he received_

_... Was that....?_

_"Derek?"_

_**"I'm not calling at a bad time, am I?"** _

_"No! No no no, you're fine, I swear, just um.... what... where are you? I mean, it's been a wile, why are you- .. um... hi,"_

_He could hear a quiet breath of a laugh leaving his freind, he could practically see the smirk on his face_

_**"Hi,"** _

_"S-So um.... are you... I mean... how are you?"_

_**"I'm... actually pretty good, how are you?"** _

_"I'm alright, could be alot worse,"_

_**"Well that's always.... I feel like 'good' isn't the word I'm looking for,"** _

_"I'm not really sure that there's a word to describe anything when it comes to this town anymore so don't worry about it,"_

_**"Yeah.... I heard about the rival Alpha... and the chimeras.... and the creepy science-fiction rejects who tried to raise a long dead werewolf from the grave... what the hell was with that time I spent away from Beacon Hills?"** _

_Stiles snorted, rubbing his hand slowly down his face_

_"You don't know the half of it,"_

_In all honesty, just hearing Derek's voice again was calming, it brought him peace, made him happy..._

_He could spend all day hearing Derek talk_

_**"I'm sure I don't, but you guys are ok... right?"** _

_"Yeah, more or less, we're pretty much in one peice anyway.... listen, what's your number man? In case we need you, I ... I want to be able to call,"_

_**"You won't need me, Scott is a very capable Alpha-"** _

_"Oh screw that! Even if he is capable, he isn't EXPERIENCED, and sometimes what we need more than ~natural talent~ is experience! Besides, sometimes we just need the extra man power, ya' know?"_

_There was a pause_

_A small pause, but a pause all the same_

_**"I don't have a cell phone,"** _

_"Well then get one,"_

_**"I don't want one,"** _

_"Then how am I supposed to get in touch with you!? I mean... ya' know... we might need you one of these days,"_

_**"I'm sure you'll be fine, but.... if you really need to talk to me, or need me for something, then you can call me on my landline, ok? I check my messages daily, even if I'm not there, I make sure to call and check them out, so if you ever really need me, you can just leave me a message, and I promise, I'll hear you, even if I'm not around,"** _

_A landline number may not have been ideal... but it was still a way to get in touch with Derek, and Stiles would take it come hell or high water_

 

~+~

 

_Hey there Little Red Riding Hood_  
You sure are looking good  
You're everything that a big bad wolf would want 

Ugh

Just when Requiem For Blue Jeans went off, this _would_ be the next song on the playlist....

 

~+~

 

_"You wanna hear the song I picked to be your ringtone?"_

_"This is what you called me for?"_

_"Yeah, everybody deserves to know what their ringtone is,"_

_"Let me guess, it's some kind of wolf pun?"_

_Stiles grinned, his mouse hovering over the "Play" button on the YouTube video_

_"Not just any wolf pun, the ULTIMATE wolf pun," he corrected_

_And ofcourse, he hit "Play", letting the song stream out into the receiver of the phone with a smirk on his face_

_"So in this situation, am I the Big Bad Wolf, or Little Red Riding Hood?"_

_..._

_Actually, Stiles really hadn't thought that through_

_"Um... ya' know something? Let me get back to you on that one,"_

 

~+~

 

Months later, he still didn't have an answer

All he knew was that his frustration was rising

He knew he was procrastinating, but he just ... couldn't make himself fill out the pappers

He didn't even know what he wanted to _do_ at college, and was it even a smart idea to sign up for decades of student loans without a clear idea of what to use your degree for anyway these days?

How often did he hear about college graduates working in diners and the local Barnes & Noble because they couldn't find work in their feild? Or they ended up with a degree in something that wasn't practical?

What feild would he even want anyway?

All he knew anymore- all he wanted anymore- was being tangled up in the supernatural world

Helping werewolves and banshees and kitsune, fighting hunters and rogue Alphas and darachs...

He couldn't exactly take college courses for that

Besides, there was one little tragedy of it all, one fatal flaw that he kept stewing over that he knew would just make everything infinitely harder

His hand dangled off of the bed for a moment, sparks of electricity forming at his fingertips, and remembered how hard it was for Scott and the others to maintain their schoolwork wile figuring out the details of being.... _something_

He was like that now

One of them

_Something_

He heaved a long, loud breath of frustration, and grabbed his phone

He bit his lip, dragging his hand down his face and staring at the screen for the longest time, before finally pulling up his contacts list and scrolling down a few lines, and hurrying to press the "call" button

"Hey, I need a favor,"

 

~+~

 

He had taken a cab to the motel

He maybe should have waited to give the Jeep to Scott until after all of this but....

He just .. wanted to get all of this over with now, he wanted to get done and be done with it and feel the _release_ that came with that

And it was a release he was looking for, in the end, that's what all of this was about

He wanted a release from the obligations, a release from the feelings, a release from the _pain_

He had been fighting with this demon- this demon of a town- for so long now and he just couldn't take it any longer

Finally the Camarao pulled up, his heart soared with releif and he wasted no time in slinging his bag in the backseat, then climbing into the passenger's seat

"Hey there Little Red Riding Hood," Stiles teased as he slid into his seat

"Oh, is that who I am then?" Derek smirked back

"Yeah, I recently decided, suits you better than the Big Bad Wolf,"

Derek only shrugged at that, but Stiles could see the smirk on his face

"Seatbelt,"

... Ah, right, Mr. Safety

Part of Stiles wanted to tease about that but he ultimately decided not to and just put the seatbelt on, a wave of releif washing over him at the roar of the engine as Derek finally started to drive

There was no small talk

No "How have you been?"

No "Where are we going?"

No mundane questions with answers that were either obvious or didn't matter

And that was just the truth of it

It didn't matter

Although, Derek did ask one thing

"What did you tell the others?"

"I told 'em I had gotten into a special program at the FBI,"

That made the werewolf pause, already stopping at a red light as he stared at Stiles and gave a small huff of amusement

"I can't believe they bought that,"

"Yeah, I tell myself it's just because I'm a good liar and not because they don't care enough to think twice about it,"

"I'm sure it's the former,"

"Mm, maybe,"

But that was it for conversation really, nothing more and nothing less

After a few minutes of driving in silence, Stiles reached out and turned on the radio, a small smirk on his face at the song that was playing

_All we do is drive_  
All we do is think about the feelings that we hide  
All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign  
Sick and full of pride  
All we do is drive 

Slowly, he reached out, his hand open in invitation, praying it wouldn't be rejected, and settled peacefully when Derek slid his hand into Stiles' hold

It was a promise

They squeezed together, ever swearing, that something more was forming there between them

It was quiet and soft and small, but it was there, and it would grow, and this was the promise

Something was there, and they would nurture it away from this place, somewhere else, somewhere better, safer...

Somewhere that wasn't Beacon Hills

_And California never felt like home to me_  
And California never felt like home  
And California never felt like home to me  
Until I had you on the open road and now we're singing 


End file.
